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Everyone goes through hell, this is just my story...

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Sunday, February 13th, 2005
6:46 pm
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This journal is now friends only, if you wish to take a peek into my twisted little mind, leave a comment here, to anyone else... later...

(46 damned souls | Embrace the darkness…)

Thursday, February 10th, 2005
9:48 pm

current mood: amused

(5 damned souls | Embrace the darkness…)

7:31 pm
Today was funny as hell, well the morning... new "toy" that Brad came up with. Came up with ideas for an incredibly politically incorrect company, selling very odd things, etc... it would be fun ^_^

The first "product idea" was the "dinky" a cross between a slinky and a dick... strange, wierd, but funny slogans that I dare not mention here unless I am asked to. The second product was the "tickle me dinky" similar concept to the tickle me elmo... but different product with a different reaction.

Today was kinda boring, we were talking about the formal, Aaron's having a bit of trouble finding a date... so we all told him to take Daniel lol, it was because he changed school and we hardly see him. Thats all well and good, but I'd also like to see him in a dress, make him and Aaron look real bad lol... but that would make the rest of us look bad too... Ewan, Chris, Josh, Thien, Tam and myself... ah well, its worth it to see Daniel make an ass of himself like that lol.

Well, can't think of much else to say except that I really, really like hugs!!!


current mood: bouncy

(1 damned soul | Embrace the darkness…)

Wednesday, February 9th, 2005
8:16 pm
Today what shit as usual... although I did eat a berocca tablet, I must say that was the highlight of the day... aside from wasting about 30 mon of lesson time because I didn't want to remove my piercings. I only answer to my mother in those situations, that prick is only ACTING dept. principal, he's not important at all... rude fucking prick too.

Fencing was interesting, I did ok for my first time in about 2 years... although my whole right leg is all achey and stuff. I found out about Lacuna Coil... they rule!

Well... I can't think of anything else to say, except for things that will only worry people.. so, later...

current mood: ...

(4 damned souls | Embrace the darkness…)

Tuesday, February 8th, 2005
10:41 pm
Wow... you could very well be satan him/herself.

Are you evil?
brought to you by Quizilla

( Embrace the darkness…)

9:52 pm
Everything sucks... do me a favour and kill me, now.

(6 damned souls | Embrace the darkness…)

9:31 pm
You are uber goth. You are dark, mysterious,
morbid, beautiful, in love with death, with
darkness. You enjoy life, you see beauty in
both our joy and desair. You embrace the entire
scene. Ah, I love you, you rock. Email me.

What kind of goth are you? (with pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

Wow... those wings look cool...

( Embrace the darkness…)

Monday, February 7th, 2005
10:09 pm - Yeah I know I'm a nerd...
I had so much fun a Hive on the weekend! Flying the planes in Desert Combat is easy! Especially when you have the best plane in the game! Slow ish and easy to fly, with a shitload of ammo! I can win against anyone in it! Hah! 3 on 1? I was still winning!

Although the tricky stuff eventually made me crash lol, then again I tried kamikaze a few times too, its always funny when you miss with one of those lol! Aaron and his stupid buggy! I'll get you bastard! :P

well... that was useless lol


current mood: weird

(2 damned souls | Embrace the darkness…)

6:36 pm
A few people saw my cut today... some of them being my friends. Yeah I know I have problems, they know it too. It doesn't help when someone calls me a fucking dickhead for doing it... NATHAN!!! So yeah, I'm a little pissed off at the moment.
you don't understand, because you can't, next time, say nothing...

Today was kinda boring, although Mr Deverson and Mrs Hargrave have noticed an improvement... guess that's 'cause mental illness got the better of me last year... that wasn't too good.

I got a missed call from a number I don't recognise today... strange... who the hell would have my number? Well, some of Alex's friends might, but that would be it. Strangeness...

I'm kinda bored now, and I found out about some people... Nathan says that he and Keenan are two different people... but some things said otherwise. I'm letting it go, no point in dragging it on.

Well, that's about it for today, there's nobody online, so I may as well go myself, I might get in to trouble for being online right now... stupid mother.

Anyways, later

current mood: mixed and stuff

( Embrace the darkness…)

6:29 pm
» I committed suicide:
» I said I liked you:
» I kissed you:
» I lived next door to you:
» I started smoking:
» I stole something:
» I was hospitalized:
» I ran away from home:
» I got into a fight and you weren't there:

current mood: curious

(2 damned souls | Embrace the darkness…)

Saturday, February 5th, 2005
10:10 pm - Yes, I would like some cheese, thankyou very much!
I finally got the rest of the pictures that Alex and I took a few weeks back, these are the ones that aren't way too big. Enjoy!

Pictures...Collapse )

So what does everyone think?

current mood: hyper

(10 damned souls | Embrace the darkness…)

9:01 am - Stay the hell out of my garden!
Yes, the subject is once again completely random (stole it from Daniel's old MSN name lol).

I'm going in to Hive today, with Aaron, Brad and Daniel. Haven't done that in a while, the last time I went was with Nathan, and I beat him really badly at Desert Combat! He couldn't hit me at all, in fact he couldn't even get off the ground! Flyng skills improved! Hah!

Hopefully I wont have Brad on my team for that game... he takes the planes and crashes them, he's useless! I kill him myself I get that pissed off with him! Warcraft 3 is fun, although setting up a game takes ages 'cause everyone likes to play the special theme maps from the internet... takes too damn long!

So, I went out for dinner last night, the chinese restaurant we went to was really crap (for those in my area, the Imperial Prince on Main South Rd in O'Halloran Hill). When I got home I got to talk to Aaliyah on Yahoo, she worries me sometimes, but I'm really glad she's ok. I was talking to Alex as well... painful... really painful. I can't say why though, I'd rather not... not yet anyways.

I'm downloading a Pantera song at the moment, a freind told me that I'd like them, he's probably right, I like heavy music anyways. Although he did flick my ear that was peirced, I have to take them out for school, he forgot it was really painful... lucky I didn't hit him. They aren't fully healed yet, and whenever I take them out and put them back in it hurts a lot, like worse than the original piercings (well, they don't hurt at all lol).

I have the Jay and Silent Bob Fuck Song! It's funny as! everyone should get it! Well, maybe not that funny, but it's good for a laugh. I'm trying to get this thing called The Clown Song by D-Control... I heard it once and thought it was pretty funny, too bad WinMX can't find it :(

I can't wait to go to Hive, it'll be fun, I hope... although I was tempted to stay home... but meh, I'm going out. I can mope around tomorrow.

Do like I told you, Stay away from me, Never misunderstand me, Keep away from me!

current mood: meh

(2 damned souls | Embrace the darkness…)

Friday, February 4th, 2005
9:39 pm
just kill me now...

( Embrace the darkness…)

3:12 pm - At School...
Well, I'm in my last lesson for today... wasnt so bad though, my mp3 player is fully charged, and I'm listening to my music through the computer, so it's gonna stay charged.

I listened to Always by Saliva on repeat all through lunch... I love that song... even though it makes me sad :(

Legal studies is so boring, IT seems easier... and I thought Access would be a bitch! Hah! Italian, easy as always, Religion is a bit of a challenge, but I dont mind that, and English, well thats too easy, I'm already ahead on one asignment... but havent started the biography & autobiography one... can't figure out who to interview... meh, I'll figure something out.

End of the lesson now, I'm in an ok mood I guess, someone saw my cut, it was Zvon, I just told him to shut up and leave it, I don't want my friends to know... they'll freak.

Anyways, later!

( Embrace the darkness…)

12:44 am
Info Black
Your Heart is Black

What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla
(I did that in a shit mood, can you tell?)

cuddle and a kiss
cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
(I already knew that)

Your Hidden Power Is Dark

You have a Evil and Demonic Soul. You use your
hidden powers for the evil of hell. You are in
constent war with the heavans for you want to
destroy the pathetic humans were they want to
save them. For all people see in you is that
any emotion expecially love is a waste of your
time but your so mysterious that people don't
know you do have a shy emotions that are kept
locked within you.

Gem Stone:Black Pearl, Eye
Black,Hair Color:Black with
Grey Streaks that is down to your waist pulled
in a braid

Quote:You said you read me like a book
but the pages are all torn and frayed

What Is Your True Hidden Power? .::Beautiful Anime Pics::.
brought to you by Quizilla
(A good quiz for a change...)

Dark Dragon are evil things, who swoop around, plucking unsespecting victims...
Your a Dark Dragon! Ok, yes, not very nice. Your
evil, spiteful, malicious, and jsu darn bad.
You like to see othrs in pain, or cause it. Im
sorry to say, but you scare me. Fly around
somewhere...err, far away.

What elemental dragon are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
(I like dragons)

you're a angel of death
you're an angel of death and destruction. you like
hurting others and chaos.

what kind of angel are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
(Well... that was interesting...)

Darkness Sprite
Cruel, beautiful, ominous and evil
You are a sprite of Darkness: Most shiver at the
sound of your name, you are ominous and
something to be feared. Humans are playthings
to you, toys for your own horrid uses.
Heartless and cruel you love the pain and
hardships of others, sometimes you are the
cause. You are very beautiful on the outside
which will entrance any mortal into believing
what you lead them to, but sooner or later they
will understand the deadly ways of your true
nature. Despite your dark side you are very
talented, you have many gifts that you leave
locked up in favor of whatever else your doing
at the moment. The feeling of love is alien and
unwanted, it frightens you. Perhaps the only
thing that does, you are quite brave and things
rarely surprise or startle you.

.::=What type of Mythical Sprite are you?=::. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers-
brought to you by Quizilla
(Heheheh, cool)

Your inner soul is calling for help! You always
seem so depressed, lonely, and feel like an
outsider. You may have a cold, sad exterior,
but in all reality you are hurt inside and
bottling up all of your anger. Everyday you
wonder why are you still here when there is
nothing left? You use to once be a happy,
loving soul, but it was damaged by 'them' and
seems like it never can be fixed again.
However, you have yet seemed to realize that
there are people out there that deeply care for
you. They secretly have a thing for you because
they find you to be dark, mysterious, and full
of secrets, not to mention being the prettiest
person in the world! You like to enjoy your
time by yourself expressing your feelings
through forms of art, and enjoy nice quiet
scenaries that just dazzle your mind with awe.
Your bedroom is basically your sanctuary where
you can hide out, hidden from those who gave
you all of the pain. Try to loosen up and have
some fun! Never start frowning because you
never know who's falling in love with your
smile :)

What Is Your Inner Soul Trying To Say? (With Pics, See All Results!)
brought to you by Quizilla
(Now I'm just bored... goodbye...)

current mood: bored

( Embrace the darkness…)

12:25 am
No One 17 and Under should be admitted. This signifies that most people think your journal is patently adult and that people at the age 17 and under should not read it. Your journal may contain explicit sex, an accumulation of sexually-oriented language, or excessive violence and gore. The NC-17 designation does not, however, signify that your is obscene or pornographic, although it could very well be you pervert!

What rating is your journal?

brought to you by Quizilla

(In order to get the text up the top you need to copy/paste it seperately)


current mood: amused

( Embrace the darkness…)

Thursday, February 3rd, 2005
11:50 pm - Eh?
I'm really tired now, should've gone to bed a while ago, but I want another Godsmack song dammit! wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot! Music!

Anyways, I'm seeing Flick after school tomorrow, Aaron might be comming along too, which would be good, Aaron's one of the best friends I've got. I spoke with Alex tonight, she was really worried about me... I almost couldn't believe it, then again, I am pretty fucked up at the moment. She was really upset about a few thing, somehow I managed to cheer her up a little. I guess that we'll always be friends, I've got a lot of love and respect for her... I guess it's the same on her end... otherwise there's no way we would have spoken like that tonight.

I feel really pathetic at the moment... but the reason is my own.

I'm not going to my formal now... too damn expensive, and I don't have anyone I can take. Meh... it happens. It's out of my way anyways... and they'll just play a whole heap of shit music again. I don't wanna spend over $300 on something that I'm not likely to enjoy. I'd have enough money by then... with my parents helping out a bit. But even if I wanted to go, I have nobody to take, so there's no damn point.

Wow! This Godsmack song is awesome! woooooooooooot! Godsmack!!!!!! Wierdness... depressive to insane again... s'all good! :D :P wooot!!!

current mood: hyper

( Embrace the darkness…)

11:05 pm

I am the mission.
You're a mecha pilot!

You might be a sub-category of bishounen, but this hardly matters since you don't notice anything that didn't feature in the last edition of Guns'n'Ammo magazine. You have been trained since an unfeasibly early age to be a machine of death and destruction. If you've noticed an annoying girl following you around and repeatedly getting into danger and requiring rescue recently, run like hell - she's probably your love interest...

Which generic anime character are you?

current mood: tired

( Embrace the darkness…)

1:37 pm - ...
Well, I had a fight with Alex last night... it really hurt, even though we're just friends. I was going to go to school today... but I couldn't... I saw her... and it hurt. I punched the bus stop, sounded hard, but it wasnt really, didn't even bruise. The last time I really punched something my knuckled were badly bruised and bleeding.

Mum saw the cut on my arm and reckons it should have been stitched... even if I thought I needed it, can't be bothered going to the doctors about it. Of course my mum freaked out when she saw it... she cant handle it. I'd hate to be her if I end up killing myself. School doesn't seem any different, still messed up, still can't work as well as I used to. I considdered leaving... maybe get a job, or go to tafe or something... either that or just die. I can't see any reason I have to be alive. I should be asking for help with all this... but I don't have anyone I'm willing to turn to.

I'm pissed of with Nathan at the moment 'cause he said he really didn't give a shit about me... some best friend he is. And if you read this Nath, don't have a go at me for it... yeah you were pissed off, so was I, in fact I was really fucked up at the time as well... I guess you don't understand that... oh well, if you want me to tell you, then just ask.

My mum got 3 calls this morning, 1 from Mr Lambert (dept principal at my school), 1 from Mr Samuel, my homeroom teacher, and 1 from my friend Chris. Surprisingly enough, they we're really worried. In fact Chris called my phone while I was on the bus home... Brad must have let them know, either him or Nick. I'm glad though, as messed up as I was, it made me feel better that he tried to see if I was ok.

I'm a bit disappointed in myself though, I'd promised that I wouldn't cut again, now I have the worst cut I've ever done. I'll live, so it's no big deal... guess I'm gonna go back to being alone... it seems to be the best thing for me at the moment. I considdered isolating myself from everyone for a while... haven't made up my mind yet.

Well, thats all for now... later...

current mood: sad

(6 damned souls | Embrace the darkness…)

Wednesday, February 2nd, 2005
7:46 pm
... I just cut my arm again... it's so deep... it wont stop bleeding... what the fuck is wrong with me!? how the hell did I go so deep!?

current mood: depressed

( Embrace the darkness…)

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